Major Monotone's Miraculous Mysteries
allmarios:

simonadventure:

Treat yo self

i love this

allmarios:

simonadventure:

Treat yo self

i love this

every anti sj comic ever
Xtremely irrational minority person: kill and eat all straights
author self insert: oh my such vulgar language i almost felt a bead of sweat roll down my delicate forehead mmm yes oh my
good rational minority person: Hey, the Heterosexual Community has feelings that matter as much as yours or mine. By spouting such awful things you are literally oppressing people-their rights and privileges are being drained from them as you type on this microblogging site. To quote Dr. Martin Ghandi X, "why c an't we jsut bbe nice uwu"
Xtremely irrational minority person: *pees*
author self insert: thank u good rational minority person. it is a shame not everyone can be as good as u *feed treat*
good rational minority person: woof

krudman:

racconconnoisseur:

themysteryofgravityfalls:

Fix it! Do it! Accidentally unscrew it! It’s time to fix things with Soos!

I can’t get enough of the terrible after effects

It took me a good while to realize I was not watching youtube poop, and that’s just perfect.

manicbotanic:

I, for one, welcome our future Indian-Chinese lesbian cyborg president.

manicbotanic:

I, for one, welcome our future Indian-Chinese lesbian cyborg president.

i.d.c.

wheelr:

"personally idc about the diversity. A good story is good no matter if it’s all white males or a multi gender rainbow".

— A comment made by a person on Twitter. There is evidence that this person is straight, white, and male, but I don’t want to presume.

"idc" means "I don’t care".

My response to this?

OK!

I’m so glad you’ve decided to take a position, and while I’m sorry you’re not pro-diversity, I support your right to abstain and cede your place in the conversation.

That’s what you did, right? You said you don’t care. As long as the story is good, you don’t care.

But I do care about diversity. I super care about diversity. So if the stories are good and the characters are diverse, we can both be happy.

So, from now on, let’s not have any straight white male leads in stories. None. Zip. Zilch. Not in movies, not in TV shows, not in popular fiction, not in comics. If all the leads in all the stories are women and/or people of colour and/or LGBT, we’ll still have the same ratio of good stories to bad stories, but we’ll also have more diversity.

So you get good stories, which is what you care about, and I get diversity and good stories, which is what I care about. It’s win-win.

But… wait.

No, I don’t want there to be no stories starring straight white men. Some of my best friends are straight white men. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where straight white men didn’t have any heroes that look like them.

I don’t think anyone should be without heroes.

So, here’s a solution. We’ll set aside some heroes for straight white men. Protagonists that they can call their own.

They can have James Bond.

And Harry Potter.

And Sherlock Holmes.

And Peter Parker.

They can have Bilbo Baggins. James T. Kirk. Philip Marlowe. Dirk Pitt. Bertie Wooster. Tarzan. John McClane. Arthur Dent. Mack Bolan. Marty McFly. Clark Kent. Roland Deschain. Jason Bourne. Don Draper. Odysseus. Jerry Seinfeld. Robert Langdon. Perry Mason. Indiana Jones. Flash Gordon. Jack Bauer. Don Quixote. Luke Skywalker. Raylan Givens. Jack Sparrow. Harry Dresden. Homer Simpson. Remo Williams. Sam Beckett. The Doctor, versions one-through-twelve. Rocky. Rambo. Robin Hood.

They can have Batman.

They can even have Walter White.

It seems like maybe there are enough straight white male heroes to last a while.

So this is where we’ll draw a line. Straight white men get to dominate fiction up until now.

And the rest of us? The women, the people of colour, the LGBT folk?

We’ll dominate everything made after now.

Does that seem fair?

Wait! Why am I asking you?

You don’t care about diversity! You only care that the stories are good!

So, we’re good.

Glad we could do business.

agoodcartoon:

mattbors:

The Smart Gun—Coming soon to a holster near you by Keith Knight

make it backfire fatally into the gunholder’s face and i’ll back yr kickstartr keith

agoodcartoon:

mattbors:

The Smart Gun—Coming soon to a holster near you by Keith Knight


make it backfire fatally into the gunholder’s face and i’ll back yr kickstartr keith

meowrailsprite:

stormybabe:

ileliberte:

devildoll:

prrb:

lets play a game called “where is the next button in this theme”

that’s my second favorite game after “no, wait, THIS is the tiniest font i’ve ever seen”

And right up there with those two is the “am I going blind or is this dark purple type on a black background?” game.

Brought to you by the creators of “where is the pause button for the autoplay music”

Featuring “how the hell do I Reblog this”